Day 3 - damage assessment

One by one we woke. Mugs of tea and hobnobs were handed round as the damage assessment began. To no-one's surprise, the Black Rat had taken the greatest toll on Nigel and Soapy.

While Nigel was doing an impression of Ian without the tablecloth, Soapy had clearly found succour in the arms of Brian, the pair sharing a blow-up bed like a modern day Morecambe and Wise. Actually, it was more John Inman and Michael Barrymore (should have checked Pete's swimming pool before we left...).

Ablutions duly dealt with, we headed off to our favoured service station on the M4 for a final breakfast before saying our final goodbyes. Even the closure of Northwood tube station couldn't dampen the spirits, as captain fantastic made an unplanned and selfless 45 minute detour to take Soapy and me to South Ruislip.

In the annals of Casuals history this will go down as one of the special tours. And last night was without doubt one of the most memorable of all Casuals nights.

As for Pete and his beaten Welsh team? Well, they just can't help believing...

Day 2 - Football comes home and Elvis has left the building

We woke up around 8.30 after a good sleep; wandered into town for breakfast at Annette's and to buy supplies of sports drinks. Then it was back to Pete's house, where we sat in the sun until Graham, Brian, John, Klaus and Nigel arrived.

The warm-up sporting event was the South Africa v Lions 2nd test which, agonisingly, the Lions lost with the last kick of the ball. Gouging is bad by the way, except in the right circumstances.

Then, the big game. Pete's team was ready and waiting when we arrived at the sports hall. It was clearly a younger, fitter team, assembled with one purpose - to win the trophy back for Wales.

It was a quiet and focused Casuals dressing room, some players geeing up their comrades while others prepared within their own private zones. But we were ready.

The home team started brightly, with the Casuals struggling to impose their style of play and Aber looking the most likely to score first. And score they did. Powering from the back, Greg cut inside and lashed an unstoppable shot into the top corner. Aber continued to dominate for most of the first half, with some excellent interplay from defence causing problems for the Casuals midfield. The defence, however, held fast.

Then, with barely two minutes to go, Graham spotted a Melv v Woolley mismatch and played a measured ball over the top. Simpson duly delivered a clinical finish to take the game to half time all square.

With the sun beating down mercilessly, the Casuals regrouped at half time and came out determined to impose their own style of play. The second half was more evenly matched, but still it was Aber who drew first blood. Graham, who had been faultless, had a Petr Cech moment and spilled a corner to Elliot, who couldn't believe his luck as he slid the ball home for a 2-1 lead.

The Casuals pressed for an equaliser, and it came in the shape of an Alan Dovey strike that would grace any game. Collecting the ball with his back to goal, Alan spun and hit a beauty that goalkeeper Mark Tovey could only admire. 2-2. There were half chances at either end, but no more goals by the time referee Nigel brought the game to an end.

Then it was all down to penalties - the ultimate test of nerve. Woolley set the trend with a poor attempt, easily saved by Graham. Melvin, Ian and Brian all missed, as did all but one of the home team. So at 4-5 Alan had to score to keep Casuals' hopes alive. Score he did, taking the contest into sudden death.

A brilliant save from Graham, truly earning the Petr Cech mantle, saw the hopes and dreams of three nations rest upon Captain Courageous, Simon Jobling. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Jobbo calmly slotted the ball into the bottom corner to send one half of Abergavenny into raptures while the other half looked for a scapegoat.

Football came home.

After the match, and a detour to the local cricket club, both teams enjoyed Sharon's legendary hospitality and a few beers at Chateau Woolley, where we accepted the trophy from a clearly shaken Peter.

There followed a trip to the Kings Arms that developed into an epic Karaoke session led by - who else - The Welsh Mouth (TM).

Unbelievably, Elvis Presley happened to be in the bar and he treated us to an impromptu greatest hits performance, culminating in a moving performance of 'In the Ghetto'. Even more unbelievably, he was later joined by a second Elvis for 'Return to Sender', although if truth be told it was probably one classic too far.

There was one other, special moment, that none of us who were there will ever forget. Elvis left the building, but was brought back by popular demand for one last song: a mesmerising 'I Just Can't Help Believing'. Even more special, he then morphed into Meatloaf for an inspired 'Two out of Three Ain't Bad'.

One of the all-time Casuals nights came to an end and, unable to get into Abergavenny's only nightclub, we retired to Pete's for a nightcap, and for a hard core few, a final hot tub session, under a crescent moon and a starlit sky...

Chiswick Casuals on tour. Day 1 - arrival

Forget the FA Cup or Champions League finals. The big event in the football calendar is the annual Chiswick Casuals trip down to Abergavenny to take on the Valleys' finest.   This is the story of this year's tour...

With the sun beating down and the M4 ahead of us, it was an optimistic Jobbo, Soapy and me who spearheaded this year's advance party on Friday afternoon. A couple of ibuprofen tablets for the road, a 'Music for Middle Aged Men' playlist courtesy of Jobbo, and off we set. An 80's A&R man's dream, that boy - a random selection included AHA, Simple Minds, Phil Collins, Anastacia... you get the picture.  

Sadly, when his iPod ran out of power his adaptor wouldn't fit mine, so we had to rely on Radio 2, which incidentally is about 20 years more up to date that Jobbo, for the rest of the journey.
Predictably, if a little stereotypically, it started raining as soon as we crossed the Severn bridge, but thankfully the rain didn't last long and the sun was soon out again.

When we arrived in Abergavenny, we went straight to Pete's house, where Alan and Ian had already arrived. There began an unseemly rush for the comfortable bedding, which left us all relatively happy with our lot.

We walked into town for beers, and Soapy made an early bid for one-liner of the tour.  While enjoying a hotdog at the pub, I had a little ketchup around my mouth.  Soapy: "Bloody hell, Melv. You look like you've just given a blowjob to some roadkill."

After a short stop in another bar we we went for a curry, and were in the restaurant when Pete arrived.  We all finished up and moved on to Wetherspoons.

Now one of the themes of the weekend - perhaps inspired by this very blog - was positivity. Soapy in particular is prone to morphing into Victor Meldrew very easily.  We tried to put a fine system in place but to be honest it didn't work.  By the time we reached Wetherspoons who had run out of ice for Soapy's gin and tonic, he had reverted to type: "That's the problem with the world - it's all gone to shit".

Back to Pete's for some hot tub action followed by the blissful sleep of the righteous.

Old friends

Last night I met with Helzo and Simon, my two partners in crime when we used to be in the corporate communications and event production business. We eventually set up Fingerprint Productions in 1997, operating from a series of offices 'borrowed' from a range of clients who all went out of business, ending up in a fantastic office with a rooftop terrace in Great Titchfield Street. That one was ours.

It was a quieter night than the last time we met, at The Sanderson Hotel with Justin and Kelvin from Illusion Factor. That one was a bit of an epic and probably best forgotten (the bits I can remember that is). My zavvi chums will remember me turning up at around 11.30 the next day with the mother of all hangovers. By the way; thanks, Steve, for pressing ahead with our weekly catch-up meeting at the end of the day... Incidentally, when I did manage to get out of bed on the Friday morning and turned on my phone, I received a message timed at 09.00 from Simon saying "Nearly home now".

Anyway as we enjoyed some very tasty if grumpily served Wagamama-style food at Satsuma, talk inevitably turned to shared memories, and of course the best ones (in retrospect) are where things were going wrong. There were a few of those times - not that our clients would know about most of them. Think of the swan analogy.

My favourite was the Virgin Our Price show where we had Darth Vader arriving onto the stage with sound effects and a cloud of dry ice to deliver the new Star Wars DVD boxset to Doug Morton.

During rehearsals, Simon came up to me and said "We could have a problem with Darth. I don't think he's going to be able to see well enough to do the handover. "How do you know, Simon", I asked, to which he calmly replied "I thought I should do a test, so I put a chair down, asked him to come over; and he tripped over it."

It might seem that Simon is bearing the brunt of those exchanges and maybe Helzo was just a consumate professional throughout. Professional, yes, but Helzo had more japes than an Enid Blyton character. It would take a separate blog to cover these.

I'm off to Aosta tomorrow for a long weekend skiiing, with Chiswick Casuals mates Andy, Graham, Pete, Mark and Alan - who lives there. Should be fun and I promise I won't go on about it when I get back. In any case, there will only be time to get home and switch on the TV for Rangers v Celtic in the CIS Cup Final on Sunday.

Finally, the eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that this is the 100th post since I started writing melvtopia all those months ago - a milestone indeed.

The ups and downs of jobhunting

When you're at home jobhunting, time is measured by hours, not days, weeks or months. A few quiet hours and it feels like nothing's happening, and a few hours later you can be back to feeling good about things. I started yesterday reviewing opportunities, sending out the odd cv to agencies, and thinking that things were slowing down.

Then I got a call from a headhunter about an opportunity for a retail brand that is, shall we say, a bit racy. The boys would like that one if it came off. Actually, the girls would probably like it more...

Off to Fulham for a meeting with my mate Simon to talk about mobile marketing, then met at the Ship Tavern in Holborn with old friend and ex-zavvi colleague John Crawford for some excellent Theakston's and a really good chat. If ever there was someone to boost your confidence, it's John.

While I was on my way to meet John, another headhunter has contacted me about an eCommerce position with a major electronics manufacturer - I had an introductory chat with her today and it could be interesting. Another ex-colleague, Allison, sent me another opportunity that could also be worth pursuing.

So stuff is happening, although if I'm honest I have to say it feels a little slow and I'm feeling a little weary today. That's the ups and downs of jobhunting. I have a call with someone from New Zealand this evening although I doubt if I'd be prepared to arrange my working life around evening conference calls every day.

In the meantime, we're all rooting for Suzanne who is on a fourth interview for what sounds like a really exciting role - you go girl!

80 with a bullet

Went to Crouch End to pick up Wenge's car from the garage.  Theo and Roy, who run the garage, are fantastic and we've been using it for years.  My car was serviced last week, but it's shaking at around 65-70 miles per hour, so Theo asked me to see if I could get it through 70 and up to 80 to see what happens.  Could be a bit of a challenge in North London but I'll see what I can do.

Played footie in the afternoon.  Couldn't quite reach 80 on the North Circular.  Good 6-a-side game, but the calf muscle I've been nursing all week went again so I limped through much of the game. Of course when you adjust for one injury you put strain on other parts so I now have a really sore thigh to go with it. 

Had a drink with Soapy, Simon and Nigel, talking about next week's Christmas bash - go karting, followed by football then a Thai restaurant.  Since Soapy and I need to travel across London to get there (and back) he is going to explore the scooterman service - could be fun.